


Dr. Jones

by magicandlight



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Crack, Gen, Short One Shot, Smart America (Hetalia), does this count as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicandlight/pseuds/magicandlight
Summary: “I’m tired of the disrespect I’ve received here! Not only do you throw around my human name, but you also use insulting derivatives, such as “Artie.” No more! If you are to address me by my human name I want to be referred to as Dr. Kirkland!”
Comments: 3
Kudos: 112





	Dr. Jones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColdWarSaint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdWarSaint/gifts).



“Bold words from someone who doesn’t know how to change the volume on his computer, Artie.” Australia interrupted England’s tirade about the intelligence of _certain_ nations using their phones during speeches, and from there everything went to hell. 

America discretely passed a ten-dollar bill to Canada under the table, and saw New Zealand sigh and do the same. France watched on with a bemused expression.

It wasn’t that they were _trying_ to rile England up-

Okay, maybe that was exactly what they were doing. But hey, that was their right as ex-British colonies, okay?

England slammed his meeting binder down on the table, gaining everyone’s attention, though unfortunately for him it was mostly in the form of unimpressed looks and a single audibly muttered _ok, boomer_ from under the table where the micronations had ‘snuck’ in. 

“I’m tired of the disrespect I’ve received here! Not only do you throw around my human name, but you also use insulting derivatives, such as “Artie.”” Here he shot Australia a venomous look, one that clearly meant _I should have left you in the outback_. Australia, however, had received this look enough times that he was immune to it, and just gave an innocent grin. “No more! If you are to address me by my human name, I want to be referred to as Dr. Kirkland!”

Germany rolled his eyes, continuing to ignore all of them in favor of whatever he was typing up on his computer. 

Good for him, America thought, wishing he’d brought his own laptop so he could finish that report for the president or play games, rather than just doodling on his papers. 

France raised one immaculately-groomed eyebrow at England. “Oh, truly? You do know we all have some form of degree at this point.”

Canada leaned closer to whisper to America. “Translation: Shut up, you’re not special.”

America snorted, getting the full force of England’s glare in return. 

Australia and New Zealand were clearly quickly hashing out a bet, and America winked at them before grinning at England. “What could yours even possibly be in? Books?”

England looked _furious_. Canada sighed and passed America a five. 

It took a few tries for England to force out a response, he was so furious. “What could yours possibly be in, ingrate?”

America smiled ~~mockingly~~ cheerfully. “Astrophysics.”

The room went silent as the other nations tried to figure out if he was serious. 

“It’s true,” Russia murmured, startling the nations by him that had thought he was sleeping. 

“I wanted to work for NASA,” America added, as an afterthought.

Australia burst out laughing at the look on England’s face, and New Zealand slid twenty dollars across the table to Canada. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [text post](https://hetaliatxtpostz.tumblr.com/post/184445492869/england-im-tired-of-the-disrespect-ive-received) on Tumblr by hetaliatxtpostz, who is ColdWarSaint here on AO3


End file.
